Two years ago this weekend our family was one week into the new year. I had been back at work after the holidays for a week. Sara was getting the boys back into the school schedule. Solomon and Luke were in kindergarten and first grade. Desmond was sick.
When we got the leukemia diagnosis in the emergency room that night we knew that our family timeline was split in two; before cancer and after.
Our lives are forever impacted by that moment. And the memories of these years in treatment will leave a mark on all of us.
Des has battled hard for 2 years now. Sickness, surgeries, emergency room visits. Transfusions, infusions. Masks, masks, masks. Steroids, chemo, eczema.
And even the happy, healthy, “normal” days weren’t perfect.
Watching little scrapes and scratches just in case.
No wrestling.
Nasty medicine.
No shared ice cream cones.
No public pools.
No fishing.
No pet snakes (we’re fine with this one).
But…we don’t say that cancer took those years from him. Desmond took those years back from cancer. And as a family, we’ve got lives to live.
Last year Desmond started kindergarten (and is reading!).
Sara returned to baking bread for the farmer’s market.
Luke and Solomon are growing entirely too fast and learning Latin together (I’ve nixed the togas).
I’ve taught more road safety classes than ever this past year.
We took a family trip to the beach in July.
There have been days when the dark cloud of fear and worry smothered us like a fog. Other days have had beautiful moments of triumph, courage, joy, and relief.
Looking back though can be hard. The bad memories lurk in corners. The good moments are great to revisit but bittersweet when I realize that life is so fragile.
Looking ahead is tricky, too. We hope for a bright future but cannot ignore that nothing is guaranteed.
So I try to focus on what we have today.
Today Des went to a classmate’s birthday party. Today I walked to the park with Luke and Solomon and we played tag. Today Sara took Luke to a friend’s house to build with Legos.
Today we had breath in our lungs and felt the sun on our faces and that is so good. We shared those moments together. And that is a blessing that is just too much to handle sometimes.
We’re less than 4 months away from the end of treatment now (the end of April is in our sights). After that we’ll go on a schedule for regular visits to check counts. We’ll need lots of prayer then, too.
We do have something to lean on though. We have hope and comfort that God will work this for good (and we can see that he already has).
Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
Disclaimer: if you want to experience blessing from God, I don’t recommend cancer. 0/10
But I’ll credit Sara here, big time. She’s consistently reminded us that God has worked in these two years. He has shown his love over and over.
Friends, family, nurses, neighbors, strangers, pharmacists, cleaners, coworkers, have all heard Des’s story. Hurt for him, prayed for us, checked on us. Stepped in when the dark cloud was all that we could see.
Hundreds of people have poured love on us for two years and we’re severely in debt trying to love back. But in these years we’ve been pulled up by people (you) who are doing the work of love.
Our battle is not done. But with God’s help and you by our side, we move on one day at a time.
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